#veganfail

To find out how long I lasted on my vegan diet before succumbing to omnivorism in a rather spectacular fashion*, please take the 28 days of February, divide it by 2, then divide that by two. Then subtract 3.

Yeah. Four days. Pretty awesome, huh?

The worst part was knowing I’d have to cop to it here, since writing things down is usually a good incentive to keep me going at something. Fear of shame got me through the ‘no buying material stuff for 6 months’ jaunt a while back and the more recent ’09 Blog Challenge. Then again, I had the following conversation with one of my friends today:

Me: Gah, so now I have to blog about how I failed at being vegan.
Friend: You were vegan? When did this happen?
Me: Last week, for like four days. I put it up on the blog and everything. You didn’t see it?
Friend: Oh, yeah, actually I think I may have read that. I didn’t pay it a lot of attention though *insert amused laughter here*

We then had a conversation about how eggs are delicious. So, it’s quite likely that nobody really cares about this except me.

Earlier, I wrote about 7 paragraphs detailing the exact nature of my journey of failure. But reading it back, it’s extremely boring. As my love for you all is as deep as the Atlantic, I will not subject you to it.
Here is the short version: I made a meal plan and did research on tricky non-vegan additives. For the first two days I was happy, eating a range of home-cooked delicious vegan foods. Day Three, I became cranky, got headaches and craved eggs and yoghurt. Day Four, I became crankier and headachier still, thought about dairy all day, plus royally failed at my newly regular gym workout. At this point, I caved. The End.

Point being, I don’t think I had a good enough reason to justify giving up foods I am apparently unreasonably attached to. ‘For the adventure of it all’ seemed silly when, on Day 3, I would’ve killed a man for a piece of vintage cheddar. I needed something solid and most people I know who are vegan have that. A strong ethical commitment to minimise harm to animals (I love animals, but get overwhelmed when thinking about how far I’d have to go to have a truly animal-product free lifestyle), or food allergies, or compelling health reasons. Something to get through the first stage of the new diet, when I was the Most Boring Person On Earth, thinking and talking constantly about food. The vegans I know generally understand what they can order at restaurants and they don’t take 2 hours to get a few groceries because they’ve slogged through the initial part and figured most of it out.

So, I’m not saying I’m giving up forever. I’m just saying I need to be better prepared with motivating influences when I do. Inspirational pictures, perhaps? Or a lucrative book deal…

In the meantime, I’m open to new challenges.

*May have involved throwing a small tantrum before going out for steak and beers.

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Learning to speak Veganese

February is a great month.

Sure, it’s hot here in Crazy Upside-Down Land, but it’s the last month before a welcome seasonal change. My city has a multicultural festival during February, meaning actual people are in the city at nighttime for once. There’s a day devoted entirely to love and sometimes one devoted to pancakes. Elizabeth Taylor, Chopin, Anais Nin, Ansel Adams, Charles Darwin, Rosa Parks, William Burroughs, James Joyce and Charles Dickens were born in February. More importantly, so was Dr.Dre and so was I.

February is kind of weird, because how many days it has depends on the year. It is a renegade month, a loose cannon. If you want to do something for a whole month, February is a good choice, because it isn’t as long as the other months, but you still get to say, “I did X for a WHOLE MONTH”, earning you acclaim and acknowledgment from your peers. Hence, the point of this rambling ode to February.

I’ve been thinking about trying a vegan diet for a while now. When in Cairns, I met a kick-ass raw food vegan and despite seeming at first like the most complicated way to eat possible, she managed to impress upon me how easy it was, so long as you’re fond of large amounts of fruits, vegetables, nuts and olive oil.

I eat mostly vegetarian at home, because it’s cheaper, less hassle for food storage and preparation and indulges my deep love for tofu. But I rely heavily on eggs and dairy for quick meals, especially cheese (delicious, delicious cheese) and it’s making me lazy. I figure going vegan for a month might force me out of my current snacking habits, get me cooking a greater variety of food since most takeaway will be off the menu and continue to save me money. Plus, I’m interested to see how hard it will be to give up full-fat yogurt, milk chocolate and the occasional McNugget.

Ah, anti-foaming agent. How I shall miss thee...

Ah, anti-foaming agent. How I shall miss thee...

The deal was sealed by Naomi from Gluttonous Vegan, who offers support through her lovely website for people wanting to try out being vegan.

So, come next Monday, February is Vegan Month for me. I’ll keep you posted on how I go with all 28 days of it. I’m allowing myself one Get Out Of Jail Free Card, as I might slip up, accidently or otherwise. Or I might just want some brie on my birthday.

Tips from fellow vegans, or directions to awesome vegan websites are much appreciated. Wish me luck!

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Writing Update! (Update!Update…)

You may have noticed the shiny new tab at the top of the page labelled, “Tales Of Yore”. Oh, you didn’t? Well, it’s right there. No, not there. There. See? Next to the one labelled “About” and “Everyonebut…”… nevermind. Here, I have a ball. Perhaps you would like to bounce it?

This section is where, as previously discussed, I’m posting old stuff from recovered online journals and new stuff that isn’t regular blog entry material.

So today, I’ve posted another tale of my time working at the bookstore in 2006, doing my best to invoke the spirit of Bernard Black (I wanted to imbed a Black Books clip, but I had trouble finding one that allowed it. So, click on the link instead for visual goodness).

Enjoy!

Bring me my lolly!

Bring me my lolly!

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The Lure of the Blog

Ah, so I cannot stay away. It’s the calming green of the background, you see…I crave it in these crazy New Year times.

I’ve decided to embark on a little project spurred on by some internet wanderings. A few months back I was up late, fueled by insomnia and thoughts of the recent closure of Geocities and with it, many animated-gif laden pages of the teenage angst of my peers. I got to thinking about old writing of mine that might be floating around in the ether and whether it might be worth rescuing and archiving.

( a few years ago, during a tour of the National Library, one of the librarians impressed upon me the need to archive online materials. I flatter myself greatly in thinking future generations would be at all interested, but I’ve been a bit more careful in labeling and archiving emails and writings since.)

I found an old LiveJournal started a few years back, when I was working at a very quiet bookstore  and had a great deal of time on my hands. It only contained half a dozen entries, but there were stories from my time in California, when the memories were a lot fresher. Rather than let them go to waste, I’m going to start putting them in a new section on the blog, for written pieces from other projects.

Until that happens, here is a short description of my bookstore job, from the winter of 2006. Good times:

It’s kind of like getting paid to be in my living room all day, as it’s warm, I sit around a lot drinking tea and reading books, occasionally I answer the phone and sometimes I leave to get food, collect mail and put stuff in the bin. A few times during the week, my friends come to visit and we sit around outside in patches of sun. Also, if I don’t keep it relatively tidy someone will probably bitch at me.
On the other hand, lots of strangers can see in, so I can’t sit around in my underwear if I feel like it. Since I work by myself, I can’t leave that much either. There’s also the matter of having a cash register and the occasional customer.

So really, it’s more like I’m getting to paid to spend time in the living room of someone who is quite fussy and likes to enforce a dress code. They’ve got a much nicer living room than I do too, with better stuff in it. So much so, that sometimes other people come and look in it, take away things they like, and pay me a small penalty for doing so.

It turns out that I enjoy this arrangement.

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